Countdown 1.90 days

Countdown 1.90 days

It's 1:33 in the morning, Sunday.  I finshed my lower body workout about 20 minutes after midnight and finished up my moderate intensity bike for 20 minutes.  I walked back into the locker room with many thoughts on my mind.  This wasn't my best lifting workout, probably doesn't help the time that it was, but I finished strong with my cardio.  As I changed my clothes and packed up my stuff I was just about to walk out, when I realized that I just completed my last lifting of my 12 week challenge.  It kind of took my breath away, I dropped my bag and sat down and just stared into space for a what felt like a few minutes taking it in.  I did it.  I still have my 40 minute cardio on my cheat day in the morning, just want to make sure I get 6 hours of sleep in.  I'm shooting to be in there by 8 am.

The last few days have been a blur and due to the blur I almost botched my nutrition and was telling my wife I almost threw in the towel on Thursday.  She asked why, what was on my mind that would put the thought in my mind.  I wasn't sure, but I felt angry.  As the day progressed I realized what the issue was, I was thinking about my good friends mother, my father in law, and others who have passed recently, and felt a little angry.   In a nutshell, really trying to understand why.  Why do things happen when they do... and I know I won't ever have an answer, but it doesn't stop the thought.  I read a book by Mitch Albom a few years back , Tuesdays with Morrie, about a mentor with advice.  Without ruining the book, it had a good influence on me and reminds me of our lost loved ones.  Then about a year later, a good friend of mine recommended a book called, "the five people you meet in heaven" which happened to be written by Mitch Albom as well.  It helps put another twist on the after life and recommend it to anyone with the loss of a loved one, just puts some good thoughts in your mind.  Anyway, my point was this has been on my mind, thinking about my faith, thinking about my family, my children, my wife, and so on, and almost brought me to a screeching halt.

Thursday was the wake and words can't explain the experience, but if you've been there you know what I mean.  Just surreal.  I try to make light of the memories and try to bring the smiles on all the grieving and it works well.  I came home tucked the family in and went off to the gym for a good upper body workout.  It was late and needed to get to bed.  Friday was the funeral and I over slept a little.  I did make it to the gym, but since I was running late I had to make the decision to only do my 20 minutes of HIIT and extra 10 minutes of moderate running on the treadmill and off to the funeral.  Spending some time with my friends and their families helped me be at ease and I think I did a good job of helping ease them as well.

All in all, I lost a mentor, a friend this past week.  I lost another mentor and friend last May, my father in law.  What has been bothering me is the fact that I have a family now with a beautiful wife and two lovely kids, but yet worry about being in that position of losing another loved one and having to go through the grief process.  None of us like it, but it's a fact of life.  If I've come away with anything through these experiences it's to live life to it's fullest.  Deep down, my father in law may have been the one to push me in that gym 12 weeks ago, bless his soul, and Dangerous Diane, your the reason I got back on the horse.  Here's to all our lost loved ones and friends... and don't forget to reach out to your family and friends today to say hello, give that extra hug, that extra kiss, don't forget to tell them you love them, and do it often, so they never have a doubt.

Good night all, stay focused.  It's about progress, not perfection!